Childhood Memories

Do you ever just take time to think about your childhood and the memories that stem from that?  Do you have parents or grandparents that share stories from their childhood that keep you on the edge of your seat?  I love listening to my clients who are generally over the age of 80 come in and talk to me about life when they were young and the various things they would do with their parents and the memories they have.  Watching them it would seem like they have been jetted back in time and are experiencing it again right in front of me.  I love that we have memories that can never be taken away. 

We celebrated Christmas with my mothers side of the family on Sunday at our house.  It was a really nice time to be together and to continue the tradition of a Swedish Smorgasbord and also just being together as a family but it was naturally quite different.  This event would always be held at my parents house with mom doing everything up from the spread of food to candles lit all around that were so bright.  Mom knew how to entertain.   I would say the mood the entire night Sunday was generally somber which is understanable but for some reason during that time my mind kept steering me away from the present and sent me to the past, to my childhood.  And in doing this I found myself experiencing a really cool sense of joy as memory after memory came to me of things that mom did that I will never forget.  During this Christmas celebration I was reminded of:

*  Annual Disneyland trips with just me and mom when we lived in California.  Man did we have lots of fun and she made the day all about me and whatever I wanted we did.  Memories.

*  Friday lunches at Leeann Chins during my freshman year in college to catch up and talk about how school was going, friendships, struggles, etc.  Memories.

*  Family vacations to Hawaii, Europe, Florida.  Mom was always concerned about making sure everyone was having a good time and she would go out of her way to make sure that happened.  There was never a disappointing trip.  Memories.

*  Taking me to see Raiders of the Lost Ark in Michigan one summers night and we held on to each other during the scary parts while also laughing all along.  Memories.

*  Going to work with her on my off days at school and even then being so fascinated with how she handled herself in the workplace.  So in control of her surroundings yet also so loving to everyone around her.  What an amazing gift.  Memories

There are so many memories that come to my mind all the time.  It really is the best part of my day when a memory pops into my head and I am becoming good and taking time to cherish that moment and put myself right back to where that memory happened.  It has been a great way to mourn.  By remembering all that was great.

Jim Valvano made an unforgettable speech at the ESPN Espy awards while accepting an award for his courage.  In that speech he closed with these words.  "Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever. I thank you and God bless you all."  Coach Valvano died 2 months later.

When I think of my mother and her instant transition from this life to another with no warning she left me behind stunned, shattered, broken, lost and completely overwhelmed.  But as I consider how I have processed (crap I used that word) all this over the last 50 days I can paraphrase Valvano's speech into my own by saying, "Mom's sudden death has taken away so many of my daily physical abilities like seeing her, hugging her, talking to her, laughing with her and so on.  But her death cannot touch my mind and the wonderful memories she has left me, it cannot touch my heart and the never ending unconditional love I have for her and it cannot touch my soul where my mother will forever reside in me as a voice, a role model and an encourager.  These are the things that will carry on forever in my life and to my mother I say thank you and I love you."

I am so excited I have all these memories that will not go away and I am challenging myself to make memories for my kids so that someday they will have a rolodex full of memories of dad that will last them a lifetime much like what mom gave me. 

I wish you a very very Merry Christmas and I look forward to all of us having a wonderful 2011!!  My resolution for next year and my challenge to all of us will be to live life in the words that are inscribed on Coach Valvano's tombstone:

"Take time every day to laugh, to think, to cry."